The Morning Ritual looks something like this:
- Alarm goes off. Evaluate bladder. Hit snooze.
- Hit snooze.
- Hit snooze.
- Finally admit I need to get out of bed. Start wondering when she’s going to kick.
- Shower, slather on moisturizer like frosting on a birthday cake, eye my closet and decide — do I want to wear the maternity pants that constantly need adjustment, the leggings that probably won’t fit in a month, or the skirt that makes me look like a walking pregnancy monolith?
- Wake up the grumpy half with a smooch. He grumps. I smooch some more.
- Greeted by noisy, demanding cats who are all WHYYY WHYYY WON’T YOU LET US INNNN? Evaluate cat excitement level to decide if they’re being whiny about their bedroom exile or whether they actually need something.
- Start coffee. Put away dishes while it brews.
- Listen to upstairs creaks to make sure the grumpy half is actually getting his grumpy self out of bed.
- Worry for the twentieth time that I haven’t felt a kick yet.
- Set out everything I will need to take to work: banana, phone, coffee travel mug.
- Heh. “Bananaphone“.
- Eat hardboiled egg. Take redonculous amounts of vitamins. Eat cottage cheese with a tablespoon of sunflower butter. Wonder if I will ever eat anything ever again for breakfast.
- Feel a kick. Yell out to the empty kitchen, “Good morning, young lady!” Startle cats.
- Get in car, decide if I’ll call mom to tell her for the umpteenth time that we felt a kick. She can’t be sick of it yet. Right? Right?
- Forget {coffee|banana|phone} and only realize it as I’m pulling into the work parking lot.
- Begin workday.
The morning ritual doesn’t apply during weekends. Pretty much I stick to the script during workweeks because if I don’t, I’ll forget something vital, and that’s how you get to work with a banana but no phone. Or heaven help if I don’t take the vitamins. The baby needs the vitamins, people.
Lately I’m wondering how it’s going to change when she’s here and I’m working. I’m guessing I’ll be up earlier so I can feed her and get her ready for the day, but how much earlier? It all depends on what kind of baby she is, I guess. And whether or not breastfeeding works for us. And other things.
These discoveries (and more) will have to wait until then, though.