Dearest unborn progeny, please do not huddle up against your gestation pod’s intestines and/or spine. The pod is, in fact, a human being, and she finds that position to be the opposite of comfortable.
Please also note that my uterus is not a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit. I know you don’t know what those are yet. I promise I will introduce you to them in all their be-germed glory just as soon as you exit and are able to navigate the universe on foot.
…er, the ball pit. After re-reading this paragraph, it occurs to me that you don’t know what a uterus is, either, but I meant the ball pit. It wouldn’t make sense for me to introduce you to another uterus.
Much love, your future mother.